Play Big! Emotional Intelligence for Extraordinary Leadership

Steve Gutzler’s Play Big Training

What Matters Most: Undaunted Courage

“Hang on a minute, guys. Don’t come up yet. I have a little surprise for you.” 

Undaunted Courage is Stephen Ambrose’s best-selling account of the Lewis and Clark expedition. Our family has a little beach cabin in Seaside, Oregon where the expedition concluded. They have one of those really cool statues at a turnaround point that looks out on the Pacific Ocean.

Throughout the expedition they battled nearly insurmountable challenges including, hunger, severe illness, fatigue, desertion, hostile enemies, and death (not your average road trip across the US). Then, the team finally reached the headwaters of the Missouri River. All advance information had led them to believe that this meant they were also close to the Columbian River which would be a gentle float safely westward to the Pacific Ocean. They would be heroes at last!

Merriwether Lewis went ahead to climb a bluff to view the picturesque waters. Imagine what he felt when rather than seeing a gentle sloping valley, he saw the majestic and intimidating Rocky Mountains…

Question To Leaders:
• What do you do when you think your biggest challenges are behind you, only to find out you were just warming up?
• How do you rally yourself?
• How do you rally your troops?

I picture Lewis motioning the rest of the party to stay behind while he figured out how he was going to break the news about the trek up the mountains.
Maybe he said something like “Hang on a minute, guys. Don’t come up yet. I have a little surprise for you.”

Eventually, crossing the Rock Mountains would be the supreme challenge and supreme achievement. It called forth enormous creativity, innovation, and perseverance. It led them to spectacular sights and unforgettable memories. It built an inner confidence because when you know you can tackle the Rocky Mountains, you know you can tackle anything!

What Is Your Rocky Mountain Challenge?
• Finding new customers or business clients?
• New upgrades to brand and marketing?
• New innovations or new service offerings?
• New projects with fast-approaching deadlines?
• New personal confidence to tackle your work?
• New strength to continue upward?

When you start climbing and stretching and sweating, you will find the way to climb, new ideas, and break-through innovation in your work. You will find the stamina you need to go higher. You will meet new people and discover new clients. You will discover your inner strength and awaken your Undaunted Courage.

Come on, let’s climb together! You and me! Let’s make it to the Pacific Ocean!

Lewis and Clark’s compass used during expedition

Quick Facts about Lewis and Clark
• Lewis and Clark Expedition: 1804-1806
• Commissioned by President Thomas Jefferson
• Team of 33 included one woman and one dog
• Lewis and Clark drew 140 maps
• Expedition took 863 days and covered 7,689 miles
• The initial budget approved by congress was $2,500

NEXT WEEK:
Get ready for Emotional Intelligence Boot Camp!

What Matters Most: Choosing to Prevail

“It’s not how will we survive, but how will we prevail.” 

As a little boy he would often cry himself to sleep at night. In the 6th grade at a boarding school in England, he struggled painfully with his studies and was hopelessly failing. During recess, he would run into the woods and hide because the other boys would relentlessly tease him. They said he had a head that was too big!

Finally, one day the school master sent a note home to his mother. It simply read, “Your boy shows a conspicuous lack of success.” His mother used it as a tool for motivation instead of humiliation.

Years later this little boy had grown into Sir Winston Churchill. He waved that very same note as he was sworn in as Prime Minister of the British people twice (1940-1945 and 1951-1955).

He became the “Voice of Hope” and a great world leader who took on Hitler and the evils of Nazi Germany. In one of his great speeches he said, “Everyone is asking on the streets, ‘How will the British people survive?’ We are asking the wrong question. It’s not how will we survive, but how will we prevail?”

He taught the British people to have a prevailing spirit!

What about your personal leadership?
• Has someone tried to pin a note on you like “a conspicuous lack of success?”
• Has a so-called failing or setback in your business or relationship convinced you to devalue your personal worth?

I HOPE NOT!

It is time to shift!

Simply put, let those “small voices” fire you up. Shift from surviving to prevailing! Churchill hit the pinnacle of leadership in his 60’s and 70’s. It is not too late for you or for me!

I remember over 25 years ago when I was about to move my little family to Seattle to start my life over. I had a leader I respected deeply tell me “Steve, you are making a big mistake. It is too risky. Don’t do it.” He chuckled as he told me I would be a “casualty.”

It was exactly what I needed to hear! It fired me up! There were some tough and turbulent times. We didn’t know a soul and we were lonely. But years later, Seattle is home and we love it. I am grateful to have established a prevailing leadership company teaching other organizations to prevail! I have new life-long friends and scores of great memories with plenty more to be made! The leader who gave me the negative advice has since passed away. But I still owe him a lot. That was my Churchill moment.

You can have one too!
Prevail!

“I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat.”

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is courage to continue that counts.”

What Matters Most: How are you Keeping Score?

The Balloon Stomp

“I got a sinking feeling in my mid-section…”

Robert Roberts writes about a fourth grade class in which the teacher introduces the “Balloon Stomp.” A balloon is tied to every child’s leg. The signal is given then the object of the game is to pop everyone else’s balloon while protecting your own.

Balloon stomp is a zero-sum game. If I win, you lose. Everyone else’s success diminishes mine. I must regard others as someone to overcome.Survival of the fittest! Eat or be eaten!

It was a balloon brawl. Some of the shyer students tried in vain to hide on the edges only to be popped! The battle lasted only seconds. And when the final student stood proudly with their balloon intact, no one cheered. There was complete silence. He was the most secretly disliked kid in the room.

Then a worrisome thing happened. A second class emerged to play the game. A class of developmentally challenged children. They were given balloons and the same instructions. “I got a sinking feeling in my mid-section,” said one of the on lookers. How can we spare these kids from the balloon brawl?

Only this time, as the instructions were given in haste, the students only grasped that the balloons were to be popped. So, instead of fighting, they helped each other. They formed a kind of “balloon stomp co-op.” They held each other’s balloons, they assisted each other in sitting on them until they popped.

Every time they heard a pop, they all cheered and smiled and clapped their hands. And when the final balloon popped, they cheered louder and hugged each other and passed around high fives. There were big smiles!

It was a representation of a scoring system that was a little different. The second class did not score against one another, but with each other. No longer opponents, but teammates! It was a win-win situation!

How Do Leaders Keep Score?

1. Look to “team up” with like-minded win-win people. Your success will be compounded.

2. Go out of your way to acknowledge and celebrate other’s successes. You’ll build bridges and goodwill!

3. Remove envy from the heart. It is insidious and only causes you to play small.

4. Be more joyful and care-free. Be less uptight and competitive. Life is short!

5. The best way to keep score is if we can win together! It cultivates powerful emotions and energy.

Getting a new scoreboard! (And a bouquet of balloons),

Steve Gutzler

“One day it stops. For you, for me, the game will be over. Did I play wisely? Did I keep the right score?”

What Matters Most- Promises

“I told the other kids not to worry. I told them that if you were alive you’d save me…”

The 1989 Armenian earthquake needed only four minutes to flatten a nation and kill over thirty thousand people. Moments after the deadly tremor was over, a father raced to the elementary school to save his son. Looking at the masses of rubble and stone, he remembered a promise he had made to his child, “No matter what happens, I will always be there for you.”

Standing and sobbing with the other parents, he decided to start digging. He began to remove one giant stone at a time. The authorities urged him to stop. They said, “It is too late. They are all gone.”

But the man refused to stop. For eight hours, then sixteen, then thirty-six hours he dug. His hands were raw and his energy drained. But he refused to quit.
Finally, after thirty-eight exhausting hours of blood sweat and tears, he heard a faint voice… “Arman, Arman! Daddy! It’s me!” Then the boy uttered the words that should give each leader pause:

“I told the other kids not to worry. I told them that if you were alive, you’d save me. And when you saved me, they would be saved too. Because you promised, ‘No matter what, I’ll always be there for you.’”

Arman, with his grandfather

Promises Made, Promises Kept
It Begins with soulful honesty

• Remember your promises as a leader, big and small
• Remember to trust in the foundation of leadership and personal influence
• Ask yourself: is there any rubble that you need to remove?
• Ask yourself: where do you need to keep your word?
• What are the promises you have made to yourself you need to keep?

Note: Leadership is being a man or woman of your word. Fighting for others that we love. Doing the work that others say cannot be done.

“Leadership is an affair of the heart because we love those we lead”

“Sometimes you have to push through quitting points to save others”

Be willing to keep your promises this week!

You matter to me,
Steve Gutzler

What Matters Most?

“Someone altered the script.
My lines have changed. I thought I was writing the play”
Madeleine L’Engle
 

Have you ever had a day where things click? I honestly can’t recall a more productive day. I woke with energy, blueprinted my day, cleaned my office, found 20 bucks… yahoo, and I had provided coaching for outstanding clients around leadership attributes of the world class. I was clicking!

And then at exactly 6:45 pm on highway 405 while I was driving home from Seattle, I received the call.

“Steve, this is Cynthia. Lee has had a stroke”

My mind was swirling. How could this be? Lee is my trainer and good friend. I just recently saw him as he was putting the finishing touches on competing in the Emerald Cup body building competition. Lee is a model of health. When you spend time when your trainer each week, you become close. Lee and I are close. Often we find ourselves on a Saturday afternoon watching football. He only allows me to “eat clean,” a phrase that I have adopted into my daily life. He reminds me to be a corporate athlete.

Lee had recently experienced the pain of having a son pass away. We had sat together in silence and wept together. Friendship is forged strongest in pain and loss and trial.

Once again, my well-orchestrated life had slowed and fallen off-beat. It crawled to a stop. I visited him in the hospital and will walk with him through his journey the best I can.

Note: Lee is doing well. It appears he will recover with good care and rehab. Thank God!

My Leadership Audit:

Lee is teaching me what matters most! Some lessons are harder to learn than others.

Questions I am journaling about in reflection to Lee’s eye-opener:

1. How do I choose to invest my life? And with whom?
2. Am I really in control or do I need to take a step back and loosen my grip?
3. Can I slow down enough to follow simple promptings that matter? Relationships matter!
Note: I had thought of inviting Lee over for Easter Brunch. I knew that he would have appreciated the invite, but I never got around to asking him. I have learned to prioritize the relationships in my life
4. Can I still continue to build a calling of excellence all the while keeping people in central view?
5. Can I restart my mission of “Inspiring Greatness in Others” with a new sense of urgency and passion?
6. Can I treat my one and only life as a gift and treat others with exemplary respect and love?

Slowing a bit to review what matters most in my leadership and life.

You matter to me!
Steve Gutzler

“Gratitude is the ability to experience life as a lovely gift. It liberates us from the prison of self-preoccupation”

“I become smart when I get crystal clear on what lasts and what doesn’t.”

The Stuff that Dreams are Made of: Dreaming of Dating my Daughter?

My daughter is now happily married with a beautiful son. However, there was a time when she was the just starting to date. As a father, a protective father, I was determined to make sure that my daughter had only the best. The dream guy. The guy she deserved. To make sure this happened, I applied a rigorous set of rules for dating my daughter. Granted, while I may have wanted to enact all of the following rules, my wife and daughter prevented me from maintaining some of the more… extreme guidelines…

I wanted to share this for a little fun this week. And also to remind everyone, that if you are determined in your dreams, you will find a way to succeed. Like I said, my daughter is married to a wonderful man now, of whom I greatly approve. In great part, I take full credit.

7 Rules for Dating my Daughter: 

1. If you pull in my driveway and honk, you better be delivering a package because you sure aren’t picking anything up.

2. You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her as long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off my daughter, I will remove them.

3. I am aware that it is “fashionable” for boys your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please do not take this as an insult, but you and your friends look like complete idiots. Still, I am proposing a compromise. You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants 10 sizes too big. I will not object. However, to ensure that the clothes do not come off during the date, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place on your hips.

4. I am sure you’ve been told that in today’s world sex without utilizing a barrier method of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier and I will kill you.

5. I have no doubt that you are a popular fella with many opportunities to date other girls. That is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you’ve gone out with my daughter, you can date no one but her until she is finished with you. You make her cry, I make you cry.

6. Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a gray-haired, middle-aged, dimwitted, has-been, but in all items related to my daughter, I am the all-knowing and merciless god of your universe. If I ask where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I have a shot gun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house… do not mess with me!

7. Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper in the war. I frequently clean guns and stay on alert, especially while you are out on a date with my daughter. As soon as you pull in the driveway, you should exit the car with both hands in the air. Speak the password and announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely. Then, return to your car and go home. There is no need for you to come inside- the face at the window is mine!

Hope you enjoyed a little bit of fun! Remember, this wasn’t exactly how it all turned out but I was able to ensure that my daughter found the right man and is happily married!

Having Fun,
Steve Gutzler

The Stuff that Dreams are Made of: The Determined Dreamer

Question: Where have you been tempted to give up?

Question: Have you thought about tossing your dream to the wind?

Question: Can you look at one man’s life and be inspired to begin again?

Abraham Lincoln:

• A man instrumental in bringing an end to slavery
• A man responsible for bringing the most famous speech- The Gettysburg Address
• He guided a nation through its single greatest test- the Civil War
• A man history stands in awe of

Look at the score board of his life!
He actually had a losing record in life:

1. He had a very difficult childhood and was raised in incredible poverty
2. He had less than one year of formal schooling
3. 1831: He entered his first business: it failed
4. 1832: He ran for public office: he was defeated
5. 1833: He started another business: it failed
6. 1834: He ran for public office: he won!
7. 1835: The girl he was about to marry died suddenly
8. 1838: He was defeated as Speaker
9. 1840: He was defeated as Elector
10. 1842: He was married to Mary Todd. They had four sons. Only one son lived past the age of 18 years old. The other boys died at ages 4, 11, and 18.
11. 1843: He again ran for Congress: he was defeated
12. 1846: He was elected to Congress!
13. 1848: He was defeated for Congress
14. 1855: He was defeated for Senate
15. 1856: He was defeated for Vice President
16. 1858: He was defeated for Senate again

Let me ask you, if that was your scorecard, would you have run for President?

Three lessons from Lincoln:
1. He was resilient and always pushed through quitting points. You can too!
2. He was known for his ability to build bridges with people who earlier opposed him
3. He believed that failure is not an outcome but an attitude. Choose to have a successful attitude!

My Favorite Lincoln Quote:
“I do not like that man. I must get to know him better”

I encourage you this day to step back and re-think any setback or perceived failure you have had. It truly is preparing you for the magnificent purpose you were created for.

Be determined in your dreams!

Feeling Stronger,
Steve Gutzler